Life with a Newborn
(Things to expect & tips on coping, About newborns, Ways  to encourage development, Tips on caring for a newborn)

For something so small that doesn't seem to do very much, they sure can have a massive impact on every aspect of our lives. If you & your partner are someone who is used to having a routine, it is a good idea to write it down. Every last little thing. Then when your finished, rip it up & throw it in the bin. It has now been made obsolete & has been replaced with the impetuous demands of your new chieftain. Any activities that interfere with the monarch's ordinance are strictly forbidden & until the cute little bundle is quietly sleeping in their cot. This is generally standard procedure for the first 3 months. Especially if this is your first baby. Your baby may seem to be a perfect little angel for the first few weeks, then all of a sudden your little angel turns into a baby Mr Hyde. Take comfort, this will not last long, and any discomfort that you may feel from this is abated with a glimpse of your baby's beautiful face. Photos are great for this trick if they are having a crying session. You may like to read up about colic in the baby section.

Here are some tips & some of the things to expect in the first few weeks:

Newborns feed every 3 - 4 hours, sometimes more if breastfed. Breast milk is digested quicker than formula, so baby may be hungry more. So feeling tired is very much expected. It is a great idea to sleep when your baby does. Even if it's just a rest on the bed with a good book, you need it! Your partner or family members should take over some of the chores to allow you to have a rest.

You may feel like a good cry following baby's birth & once the initial excitement has worn off. This is normal due to the hormonal changes you body is going through - the birth of a new baby is an emotionally ruffled time. This usually settles down in a few days after birth, as breastfeeding becomes established. Let you doctor or midwife know if you have any concerns. Dads can also feel a bit lost & upset when all this is happening, try to be there for each other. Things will settle down soon.

Your breasts may be painfully engorged when your milk comes in, and your nipples may be sore.

Constipation - The first postpartum bowel movement is typically delayed to the third or fourth day after delivery, and sensitive haemorrhoids and sore muscles may make bowel movements painful.

If your perineum (the area of skin between the vagina and the anus) was cut by your doctor or if it was torn during the birth, the stitches may make it painful to sit or walk for a little while during healing.

You may experience hot & cold flushes as your body adjusts to new hormone and blood flow levels.

The stretching of your muscles during delivery can cause you to unintentionally pass urine when you cough, laugh, or strain or may make it difficult to control your bowel movements.

The shrinking of your uterus can cause contractions that worsen when your baby breastfeeds or when you take medication to reduce bleeding. But these pains have a good cause. They mean that your uterus is returning to it's normal size.

Vaginal discharge (referred to lochia) is generally heavier than your period and often contains clots. This discharge gradually fades to white or yellow and stops within 2 months.

Don't be surprised to find that you are still in your pyjamas by lunchtime or that your house is a little unkempt. This is where friends & family come in! Don't be afraid to accept help when they offer it. It's not forever & soon you will find the routine that works for your new family.

Answering machines are great! A lot of the time when we are with our newborns, we can't just get up and answer the phone. So don't forget to put it on when your bathing or feeding bub, or when you are both resting.

If you are starting to feel all stuffing in the house, go out & sit in the park or visit friends & family. The fresh air and change of scenery will be refreshing for both you & your baby.

It is possible to have a shower & still look after bubs. A neat trick is to put your baby in a bassinet & bring it in the bathroom with you. Watching the water sprinkling & all the new sounds can keep your baby amused & the shower will help you feel fresh & also help relieve those aches and pains.

Join a Mother's Group & get together regularly. If there isn't one in your area, just start one! It will help to give your week structure. The message board is another way to chat with others about parenthood, time management skills, cheap, quick nutritional meals & anything else!

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Here is some general information on newborns:

They don't realise they are a separate entity.

Don't cry just to get attention. A newborn isn't capable of responding to you with any conscious purpose.

Many babies who are under three months cry a lot, especially in the late afternoon or evening. Jiggling a baby is not a good way to help them settle and can be very scary or even painful for the baby.

It is easy for your baby to feel bewildered by all the external stimuli such as sounds, colours & shapes. In the first couple of months, they are attracted by bright light, primary colours, dots, stripes & patterns.

The human face is the first 'object' they recognise.

Newborns have been hearing noises from well before they were born. But have immature eye muscles and, while they can see, particularly at close range, they can't organise the visual images into meaningful shapes. Usually by 6 weeks, the eyes move in unison.

In the first couple of months, babies have no control over their movements. All of their physical activity is involuntary or simply reflex. Even though they move their bodies, they don't yet know how to make each part of their body move, or even that all the bits belong to them. Around 3 months, they find their hands. Wrist rattles are a fun toy, so each time they move their arms...it rattles! They then start to find their feet, so strap the wrist rattle around their ankle.

When they are around 2 months of age, they will start to 'talk' to you. You can help your child develop listening, talking & social skills by having a conversation with them. Talk to them, then pause & wait for their response. They love to watch your face as you speak. They are learning! Don't forget to use their name.

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Here are a few ways in which you can support & encourage your babies development:

Praise your child when they try new things & develop new skills.

Allow them to experience different sounds, colours & textures.

Make a mobile and hang it, facing them, above their cot

Babies love physical contact, so cuddle them heaps. You can't 'spoil' a newborn.

Baby massage is a great way to help soothe baby & also helps in the bonding process.

Play music & sing to them.

Copy what they do. Imitate their cute little gestures & facial expressions. They love this game!

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Here are some general tips on caring for your newborn baby:

Be careful to support your baby's head & neck. Cradle their head when carrying your baby & support the head when carrying your baby upright or laying them down.

Caring for the umbilical cord can seem a little nervy for some parents. As long as you keep it clean & dry, it will usually fall off within 10 - 20 days after the birth, leaving a small wound that usually takes a few days to heal.

Most babies find warm water soothing even though a bath isn't really necessary more than once or twice a week for newborns. Just wash their face frequently and thoroughly clean the genital area after each nappy change.

The best time to bath baby is at a time that suits you, but ideally before a feed. This can help settle your baby & make it easier to breastfeed. It is a good idea to get everything ready first. You can use a baby bath or you may find it easier to use the regular bath. Some parents like to place the baby bath inside the regular bath. Use enough water so that baby feels buoyant in the water. Test the water temperature of your baby's bath before putting your baby in. Use the inside of your wrist & not your elbow. The skin on your elbow isn't as sensitive as the skin on your wrist & it may not seem hot when it actually is.

Place your baby in the bath with your left (or right) arm holding them by their left (or right) arm and with your babies head resting on your forearm. Gently wash them with plain water or with a little baby soap, using your hands or a face cloth. When washing your baby during the first week, don't worry if they still have vernix on their skin. This is still good for their skin & is helping to protect it. It is common for most babies to cry during a bath, but before long they will love it. Occasionally, you may enjoy having a bath with your baby; some say the feeling of the water is similar to them as being inside the womb, and the sound of your heartbeat is very comforting. If you & your baby are having difficulties breastfeeding, your could try feeding while in the bath with your baby. Your partner can pass the baby to you while you're in the bath and after bathing, you can hand baby back to your partner for drying.

Babies are sometimes born with toenails & fingernails. It is important to keep your babies nails trimmed, because they don't have full control over their muscles, they can easily scratch their delicate skin. A lot of parents gently bite their babies nails off rather than wrestle with them & some clippers.

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